You might be a 30-something if...
- You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back
pocket was cool.
- Any photograph of you shows you wearing an Izod shirt with the collar
turned up. (In turquoise or pink - or layered!)
- You know any Weird Al Yankovich songs by heart.
- You've ever rung someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
- You were once bowled over by the technological excellence of such
products as Atari, IntelliVision, TelStar and Coleco.
- You remember the premier of MTV - or worse yet, you remember its
predecessor, "Friday Night Videos."
- You and your friends ever discussed having a reunion at the end of the
century and playing Prince's 1999 until you passed out partying.
- A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
- You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was
alternative, and when "alternative comedy" was really funny.
- You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
- (Related to Number 10) You rode in the back of the station wagon facing
the cars behind you.
- You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following
phrases: "You know, back when," "When I was your age," or "When I was
- Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like
grammar, math and history.
- You ever dressed to look like someone in a Madonna, Cyndi Lauper or
Duran Duran video.
- You remember your first kiss with someone having happened while either
"Leather and Lace" or "Crazy for You" was playing.
- You remember with pain the day the Green Machine hit the streets (or the
sidewalks), instantly making your Big Wheel obsolete.
- The age-old question "Where's the Beef?" still makes you laugh.
- You remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly
have more advanced special effects than "TRON".
- You had a crush on Ted the photographer from "Love Boat," Gage from
"Emergency" or Ponch from "CHiPS".
- Your hair at some point in time in the '80's could only be described as
"I was experimenting."
- You've ever shopped at Benetton.
- You're starting to believe that having kids in school year round
wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.
- You're currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to
do with your college major.
- U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now.
- You remember trying to guess which episode of "The Brady Bunch" it was
by the first scene.
- You had a front row seat for Luke and Laura's wedding on "GH."
- Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was
pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.
- You know who shot J.R.
- You recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's Christmas stocking.
- This rings a bell: "My name is Charlie, and they work for me."
- You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on.
- You know all the words to the double-album set of the "Grease"
- You've ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut.
- You sat with your friends on any given Friday night circa 1982 and
dialed 867-5309 to see if Jenny was actually there.
- "All skate, change directions" means something to you.
- You've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used
- You bought a pair of Vans and wanted to order a pizza in history class
so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli.
- You owned a Preppy Handbook.
- You were too young to see "Blue Lagoon" so you just had to settle for
the secondhand reports.
- You remember when movies where only PG and R.
- You learned to swim at about the same time "Jaws" came out and still
carry the emotional scars to prove it.
- You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch and
your "cable remote" was connected to the TV by CORD!
- Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick sized
packages of Bazooka.
- You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or - worst of all -
what Sheriff Roscoe's full name was.
- Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size
of the coffee table.
- You found nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
- You remember having a rotary phone.
- You actually believed that Mikey, famed kid on the Life cereal
commercials, died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.
- "Members Only" jackets: say no more.
- And lastly, I'll make a song stick in your head for the rest of the day:
you actually remember the words to the theme song of "The Greatest American