(aka. John Maister, aka. The Evil Dwarf.)


This page is being supplied in order to get me the chance too create new toys for TerraFirma.


I study Cybernetic & Control Engineering at The University of Reading.  I have no social graces and am exceptionally ugly, so for the protection of any innocent creatures that may haplessly stumble across this page I will not be supplying a picture so don’t bother looking!



            Height: 6’8”.

            Hair: odd, silvery and mousy.

            Eyes: Blue.

            Weight: 16 stone (who ate all the pies...).

            Shoe Size: 14 (doubles as effective mental age)

            Born: summer of 79 in Cambridge U.K..



            Food: I eat all the time the list would go on for ever.

            Drink: Water, mango juice, cider, whisky, tequila.

            TV: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, E.R., Have I Got News For You?.

            Film: Lock Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels, Shawshank Redemption, Stealing Beauty, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Matrix, Mallrats, Dogma.

            Colour: UV.

            Music: Heavy Metal, Drum & Bass, Ska, Dance, Techno, Jazz, Classical, Latin American, Gospel, Hip Hop, Rock.

            Sports: Basketball, Kick Boxing, Akido.

            Item of Clothing: Baggy stuff especially scate pants.

            Absolutely Fave Thing: Dancing!



            Food: Liver, Kidney and other offal, anything too sweet.

            Drink: anything too sweet, red wine, gin.

            TV: SOAP OPERAS!!!!! Oh the loathing, the pain, rage… taking… over…

            Film: Period dramas, twee hollywood tear jerkers.

            Colour: don’t think there is a colour I actively dislike.

            Music: Most bubblegum pop and boybands, Mr Blobby, Bob the Builder etc.

            Item of clothing: Y-fronts.

            Absolutely Worst Thing: equal split between guns and cars.